You Choose.

"Welcome to 'you choose!’
If you're having Existential Issues, press 1.
If you're having Speaking Issues, Press 2.
If you're just calling to make fun of us, press 3 to be assisted by someone of our team.


You pressed 1, Existential Issues.
We give you the options:
Press 1 to suicide
Press 2 to be killed by a stick
Press 3 to be shot in the head.


You choose to suicide.
We give you some suggestions:
Press 1 to cut wrists
Press 2 to take lots of pills
Press 3 to jump of a high building.

You pressed 3!
You'll have a pleasant landing, full of blood to other people see!
We are happy to assist you!
Have a good day, and remember, we help you choose!"

By: Tsukiyomi (Joana Nogueira :D )